Regardless of Warnings
by Cherry Top
Summary: They feel, as any other does, the passage of days and the shifting of the world around them. They carve their way through the mess. Prologue to a project soon to start "Whatever Lies Beyond This Morning". AkuRoku. What could have been. T for now.


Hello, everyone. I would like to welcome you to my new story. This is a prologue to what I hope will be a continuing series of what I wish had happened (AkuRoku included). I will let you know ahead of time that in this 'what I wish had happened' there is no such thing as a 'Xion'. There will be some spoilers for 358/3 Days, however, not many. This prologue will encompass all of Roxas' time in the organization, as I wished them to happen. I've kept it short and sweet, however and only put in the most significant moments to Roxas (and Axel). I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the Disney Movies featured within.

* * *

><p>The red glare of the sunset reflected off the pale buildings of twilight town, giving the town an orange glow as the streets cleared of all but a few and shops closed as the night loomed closer. Roxas looked down over the sleepy town as the final bell of the day rung out from the clock tower and the whistle of a train coming into the station sounded loudly from below. A small group of kids walked out of the station, followed by another. The first group quickly left and the second group leisurely trailed after. A girl walked between two boys, one larger with brown hair, and other thin and blonde. The girl had their hands gripped in her own and was smiling broadly, skipping along.<p>

Roxas furrowed his brow, looking at their interlocked hands. What was the point of all the touching? Axel touched him sometimes, too. He'd throw an arm around his shoulder often when walking or if they were lounging on a couch in The Castle that Never Was. A hand waved rapidly in front of his face, drawing his attention to his red-haired companion.

"Yo, Roxas, don't you go all zombie-boy on me again," Axel said with a half amused, half serious look.

"Why are they doing that?" Roxas said pointing down at the group of kids. Axel blinked, caught off-guard by the suddenness of the question. He looked in the direction Roxas was pointing, seeing the kids walking along, nothing really out of the ordinary. Axel looked a while longer before catching sight of their hands, realizing that must be what Roxas was questioning.

"You mean holding hands?" Axel looked quizzically at the other Nobody and Roxas nodded vigorously. Over the several weeks that Roxas had been with them, Axel had come to pride himself on his ability to explain things to the clueless Nobody that he'd been put in charge of. The kid was honest-to-god good company too – better than the alternatives, at least – , so he liked making him happy by helping him out.

"Well, it's something that friends do; when people are close they like to touch. There's this basic human need for touch, and when people care about each other they hold hands or something to show that they care without saying it. You get it?"

Roxas nodded but his brow furrowed yet again, and his mind seemed to be working a mile a minute on something. Axel saw Roxas' half-finished ice cream dripping down to the pavement below and his gaze fell to the group of kids again. They had stopped walking, and Axel noticed that the blonde kid was scowling as he tore his hand from the girl's grip. The girl pouted and drew the other boy closer, saying something and holding tight to the boy's arm. Axel looked at the chubby brown haired boy and noticed his face quickly turning bright red. The Nobody chuckled at the scene, drawing Roxas' attention.

"What? What's funny? What's going on?"Roxas' frantic need to know everything that he doesn't is rather endearing at times and Axel was happy to oblige him.

"See the darker haired boy?" Axel pointed down to the group and Roxas looked down at them and nodded, focusing on the brown haired boy, "See how he's turning red in the face?"

Roxas nodded again.

"Doesn't that mean he's embarrassed?" Roxas questioned, looking back at Axel.

"Sort of," Axel began, "It can mean that you're embarrassed, but it can also be nervousness or being flustered by being around someone you like."

"Well, yeah, he likes her, right? They're friends. So why isn't the other one red?"

"Because this is a different kind of like," Axel explained, "He has romantic feelings for her."

Roxas' face scrunched up, "Like love? He wants to marry her or something?"

"Something like that," Axel said, laughing lightly, "a little less serious than marriage, its like a precursor to love. It can lead to love, but for now its just... infatuation and physical attraction."

"Oh, I get it," Roxas says nodding.

Axel looked out at the sunset dipping over the horizon, satisfied with his explanation. Suddenly, Axel felt a pressure on his left hand and looked down, startled, at Roxas' fingers threading through his.

"So, friends hold hands. We're friends, right?" Roxas looked up at him, eyes shining in the ever dimming light of the sun. Axel stared at him a moment, before a soft smile crossed his face.

"Yeah, you bet."

Roxas looked back at the horizon, the sun fully set now, his hand still enveloping Axel's. Axel turned his head to the side, hiding the blush creeping up his face from Roxas' sight.

* * *

><p>Roxas was content. He still kept track of the days, but that became less and less what he was holding on to, and Axel became the sole important thing in his existence. It was odd; he knew he wasn't supposed to be able to feel, but he couldn't help thinking that they were all very, very wrong. He cared about Axel. Whenever the idiot went and got himself hurt, Roxas was near frantic with worry.<p>

He was becoming confused, and with that came anger. He didn't know what to believe anymore.

* * *

><p>Axel has, for the longest time, ignored whatever ghost of a 'feeling' he had; knowing it for simply the memory of feeling that it was. However, Roxas was hard to ignore. The kid just oozed feeling; kind of like how Demyx does, but less annoying. Axel was beginning to doubt. He was beginning to remember the talks he used to have with Demyx on the topic of the state of their beings, about how Demyx believed that they could feel as well as anyone else.<p>

But Axel knew. He knew there was no emotion among these beings called Nobodies. He gave up on the hope that they did when Saix crushed everything left that was Lea in him.

* * *

><p>Roxas stood atop a sandstone building in Aggrabah, having finished rounding up hearts for the day. He looked down at the scene below him with wonder. The woman, who could only be a princess by her clothing and jewelry was being held by a man, who was dressed in ratty, patched clothing.<p>

"Awwww, isn't it so romantic?"

"What is it?" Roxas asked out of reflex.

It was then that he realized that he had been sent to Aggrabah solo, and that Axel was back at The Castle That Never Was. Roxas nearly tripped over his own feet as he spun around to find himself face to chest with... blue. Lots of blue.

"Wha..." Roxas looked up and found himself staring eye to eye with a genie.

"Well, it's a hug! What's wrong with ya?" The genie knocked Roxas on the head a few times as the boy stared at him in shock, "Missing a few bolts? A few goats short of a herd? A couple-"

"Who are YOU?" Roxas snapped himself out of his stupor, "What- Why are you talking to me? How did you know I was here?"

"Well, how rude, you ask me a question and I end up on the wrong end of the Spanish Inquisition," The genie huffed, "Well that's fine, I'll just go away. I guess you don't want to know what a hug is."

The genie turned to stalk off dramatically and Roxas bit his lip. He wasn't supposed to talk to ANYONE. However... Roxas glanced down at the couple sharing a... hug.

"Wait."

The genie immediately poofed back to his side, batting his eyes.

"Yes?" The genie spoke dragging out the word, "I'll need an apology for your rudeness."

"Sorry," Roxas mumbled and looked away.

"Close enough!" The genie slung an arm over Roxas' shoulder pulling him close, "See here, a hug is something people who love each other do. People who are really close to each other like to hug 'cause its nice and shows you love them."

"So... only people who love each other hug, like them?" Roxas pointed down at the couple who had pulled back a bit, still holding on to each other but at a little less than arms length.

"Well not only people who love each other like they do," The genie rubbed his chin for a moment, "See, friend love works too with the whole hugging thing. I hug Al, 'cause we're pals, best buddies, we love each other."

"Oh," Roxas blinked, "So you hug friends that you really care about, or love?"

"Exactamundo! Especially after some kinda crisis; a reassurance, ya know? That you're there for 'em. Or when saying goodbye. Letting 'em know you'll be there when they get back."

"Oh, well, thanks," Roxas said turning away to head back to the portal to The World That Never Was.

"Don't mention it, kiddo!" The genie yelled after him.

* * *

><p>Castle Oblivion. Shit.<p>

Axel sighed; he was going to have to deal with the key-blade kid. Roxas' Somebody. Sora. Not to mention Larxene wasn't exactly a bundle of fun. Roxas was going to be upset, too. Axel chuckled to himself. What was he thinking? Nobodies can't get upset.

A knock sounded at his door. Well, speak of the devil.

"Yeah?"

The door slid open to reveal who he had expected, Roxas, standing on the other side looking at him oddly.

"I heard you were leaving for a while."

"Yeah," Axel stood up and crossed the room, passing through the door and brushing past Roxas, "I'll be back before you know it, don't you worry, Rox."

"Oh," Roxas said walking along side him as he went along, "Well..."

Roxas grabbed hold of his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. Axel turned around to look at Roxas, puzzled. Before he could form a single word Roxas had thrown his arms around him. Axel stood shock still for a moment before relaxing and smiling softly, returning the hug.

"Good luck," Roxas mumbled into his chest.

"Luck? Who needs it," Axel said pulling away from Roxas' warm embrace. Roxas' face burned red; Axel decided to not mention it.

"Well, then don't be stupid," Roxas said, looking away.

"Me? Stupid? I'm hurt, Roxy," Roxas smiled at that and turned around to head back to his room.

As soon as he turned the corner, Axel slumped against the wall, basking in the lingering feeling of Roxas' arms around him and his words ringing in his ears, everything that was unsaid, clear as day. He felt his skin – dare he use the word – tingling, and his heart (the one that a body requires to keep blood flowing, not the other one that didn't exist within him) beating fast. He felt cared for in a way he hadn't in a long time.

Feelings, Axel barked a short, bitter laugh, how ridiculous. It had been too many years for him to believe Nobodies had any of those. His flesh was playing tricks on him.

* * *

><p>Feelings, Roxas mused, were things that he was repeatedly told that he didn't have. But, how? He was sad that Axel was leaving; that's a feeling. He was also frustrated and angry with his lack of memory; that was a feeling, too. He was short tempered, when it came to the other Nobodies (except Axel; he seemed to avoid his fury, somehow). He would snap at many of them in annoyance. He felt happy and warm when he hugged Axel. Feelings, feelings, feelings.<p>

Roxas scowled, staring down at the winning popsicle stick in his hand, before chucking it at the wall. Why would everyone tell him things he KNEW were not true? Why would they try to convince him he had no emotion? Contrary to the belief of many in Organization XIII, Roxas wasn't stupid. He knew what he felt.

Roxas glared at the popsicle stick innocently lying on the floor, before growling to himself and lying down, shutting his eyes to the world.

* * *

><p>Roxas would die if this went on. He would be rendered obsolete by these power hungry assholes. A panic settled in his body, too real to be a memory and in that moment he realized so many things that centered around one. Roxas was precious to him in a way that shouldn't be possible.<p>

The boy was there, watching as he lit the scumbag called Vexen ablaze.

"Hey!" Sora yelled, appalled, "Why would you do that?"

Axel only looked cooly at him, before calling up a portal and fading into its darkness. As he leaned against a wall and took a deep breath, he realized that he would do anything for Roxas.

* * *

><p>He was lying in his room again, as he'd taken to doing while Axel was away at Castle Oblivion. He'd started isolating himself when he wasn't paired up for a mission, which wasn't often anyways. He'd become even more short tempered with the others, and suspicious of every action made by the higher ups. He was lonely, he figured out, and also without the distraction of his friend he was far more observant of everything that was going on.<p>

Then came the news that nearly broke him. Everyone at Castle Oblivion had been killed.

Axel was dead.

Roxas swore his heart stopped.

* * *

><p>He was acting like a zombie again. He didn't say a word, and that was just as well because no one said a word to him. He completed his missions at the bare minimum, putting forth only the amount of effort required, and then spent the rest of his time in his room or sitting on that goddamn clock tower, hoping to God, or Kingdom Hearts, or whatever the hell else that Axel was going to walk around that corner.<p>

A week passed and he didn't.

Roxas' door slid open and he jumped to his feet in alarm. He looked up to see Axel standing just inside his door.

"Axel-" Hardly able to finish a thought, he found himself enveloped in a strong embrace. Roxas was startled at first, but when it seemed that he wasn't going to be released any time soon he relaxed, sinking into the warmth of Axel's hug.

"I missed you," Roxas mumbled into his chest, still shocked.

"Yeah, I know," Axel said, laughing and holding him even tighter.

"What happened at-"

"It doesn't matter."

Tears began to fall trail down Roxas' face as he broke into outright sobbing.

"I thought-" He gasped for breath, "I thought you were dead, Axel. I thought I'd never see you again. I didn't know what I was going to do."

Roxas nearly choked on every word and they pair sunk to the floor, still holding each other tightly.

* * *

><p>Things went back to relative normalcy. There was a subtle... difference in Roxas and Axel's interactions, a new sort of gentleness and wonder on both parts. It was as if they were discovering this odd friendship of theirs for the first time. In a way, they were; because they were seeing the reality of it for the first time. They were actually friends. Not simply two Nobodies who could stand each other's presence for long enough to finish a mission or a conversation.<p>

They cared about each other. It raised questions and confusions, but for a while those were all placed on the backburner and they enjoyed the time that they had together.

Soon enough, though, it all reared its ugly head. Roxas' dreams were becoming more and more frequent. He woke every morning with a sick feeling in his gut.

"Who am I?"

"Roxas."

Roxas was brought out of his daze and he tilted his head to look at Axel out of the corner of his eye.

"Hm?"

"Do you really believe that you don't have a heart?" Axel's voice was curious and his expression searching.

"I don't know," Roxas answered honestly, "It's not like I can just look inside."

Roxas looked back at the setting sun, thinking for a moment.

"But, you gotta figure. If there really was something in there. We'd feel it? Wouldn't we?" He looked back over at Axel, whose expression turned contemplative.

"But you do feel, right?" His eyes were serious as he looked at Roxas.

"I-I-" Roxas sighed, "I think so."

Roxas reached out and took hold of Axel's hand, gripping it tightly.

"You believe that too, don't you?" He asked earnestly, looking into Axel's toxic green eyes, "You believe that we can feel."

Axel's hand tightened around Roxas'.

"I... I'm starting to."

* * *

><p>He was sent out alone, to Aggrabah again. This time he did his best to avoid the genie. He was just finishing up when he found himself cornered by several heartless. He summined his keyblade, prepared for a battle.<p>

Suddenly the imaged from his dream flashed rapidly through his vision, flooding his senses and dazing him.

"S-!"

"I'll come back for you! I promise!"

"Kairi!"

Roxas opened his eyes. A familiar beach greeted him. The waves lapped at his feet and the salty breeze met his senses. This was the island from his dreams. The dreams of the boy whose name started with 'S'. A dark figure caught his eye. A man in an Organization XIII coat, with silver hair and a blindfold, stood on a tiny island off this one. A bridge connected them.

The imposter.

Determined, he jumped and climbed his way to the bridge, rushing across it.

"Hey!"

The man turned around - maybe boy was a more accurate description, but he stood like a man - and calmly looked at Roxas. A pained expression crossed his face for a second, before it fell, a cool mask in its place.

"Who are you?" Roxas yelled.

"I'm a friend of Sora's."

"Sora!" A girl's voice and a gentle face.

"Sowa!" A... duck.

"Sora!" A dog.

"Sora!" A boy, the same one who stood before him now, a man.

Roxas shook away the images, shutting his eyes tight.

"Who the hell is Sora!"

"He's the keyblade bearer. He's my friend. He's... you," He turned to face Roxas, "But right now, he's sleeping."

"The... keyblade bearer? But... that's not right! I'm the keyblade bearer!"

"No," The man said, shaking his head, "You are simply his shadow."

"I'm... his Nobody?" Roxas looked wide-eyed at the man as images flashed through his mind. His dreams made sense now; they were memories, or fragments of them at least.

"People need him back. But so long as you continue to live apart from him, he cannot wake."

"You want me to die?"

"No, I want you to become whole again."

A wave drew up from the sea. The man merely stretched out his hand. The wave crashed over them and his vision went black.

He woke, alone on Aggrabah, with nothing but a face in his mind, a tug in his gut, and a name on his lips.

"Sora."

* * *

><p>What followed were weeks of confusion and anger. He recalled nothing but the name 'Sora' and a face of a man with silver hair and blindfold from when he had passed out. More and more, Roxas needed to know who he was. He needed to know who Sora was. He needed to know why the key blade chose him – a Nobody! Roxas snapped at everyone, even Axel.<p>

"Why can't you just leave me the hell alone?"

Silence. Cold, terrible, penetrating silence. Roxas saw the immediate hurt in Axel's eyes and wished to hell and back that he hadn't opened his mouth. Axel's mouth snapped shut and he turned on his heel, walking away swiftly toward his own room.

"Wait-" But he had rounded the corner already.

Roxas slapped himself on the forehead, sinking to his knees.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

Axel was just trying to cheer him up. He'd noticed how he'd been acting lately, and usually his inane babbling would make Roxas laugh.

Not yell. Definitely not yell.

Axel sighed, sitting on the window sill of his room, looking out over the World That Never Was. Things were coming to a close. He could feel it.

* * *

><p>They didn't say a word to each other the entire mission. It was incredibly awkward. They didn't say a word when Roxas walked away, toward the train station. It was terribly painful. They didn't say a word when Axel showed up not five minutes later with two sea salt ice creams, sitting down next to Roxas on the tower and offering one to him. It was the most relief that Roxas had ever felt in his entire life.<p>

Roxas stared at the ice cream, wide eyed for a moment.

"I'm so sorry!" He blurted out, bringing the silence to a shocking halt.

"It's oka-"

"It's not okay!" Roxas continued, "It's not, because I yelled at you when you were just trying to help me out and I thought you hated me and I was worried that you'd never talk to me again and I thought my heart was gonna split in two like that time I thought you were dead, except maybe a little worse because I'd done something awful to hurt you and I'm so sorry and I-Mmmph!"

There was now a popsicle in his mouth.

"Shut up and eat your ice cream."

His acid green eyes were incredibly serious.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're moodier than a woman on her monthly?"

…

…

"What's a monthly?"

He tried to forget, but his dreams reminded him every night of all the unanswered questions that he had. He had to find the man in the blindfold. He had to know what he saught.

* * *

><p>"Roxy!"<p>

Axel was a pleasant distraction. One he appreciated now more than ever. He smiled.

"Hey Axel."

"Poker with Luxord and Xigbar, you in?" Axel had a devilish grin on.

"No!" Roxas answered sharply, "I'm still scarred from last time!"

"Aww, come on Rox," Axel pouted, it was a ridiculously unfair advantage that he had, "So Demyx forcibly took your pants off one time. You kept losing! And you refused to pay up."

"Strip Poker. Is. Stupid."

"We'll play for munny then."

Roxas sighed.

"Fine."

The grin returned.

"We have a fourth player!" Axel called as they walked into the main room.

* * *

><p>Roxas was flat broke by the end of he night, so were Axel and Xigbar.<p>

"Wasn't that sooooo much fun?"

Axel was also very, very drunk.

Xigbar didn't hold his alcohol any better, and Demyx had to drag Xigbar to his room after he passed out. Luxord was fine, and about ten thousand munny richer. Roxas didn't even take a single sip of anything alcoholic.

"I love you, Roxy," Axel slurred, hanging off his shoulder, "I mean it, man, I love you."

"Love you, too, Axel," Roxas said, rolling his eyes as he half dragged he drunk Nobody into his room.

"No, no," Axel shook his head against his shoulder, he pushed at Roxas until he was up against the wall and Axel braced himself for balance with his hands on either side of Roxas' head, "I mean it, Rox; I mean, I'm serious! I love you, Rox."

In the same moment that it clicked for Roxas that he found a pair of lips upon his own, pressing urgently. Roxas' mind went blank. He didn't care about Sora, or the guy with the blindfold, or who he was, or the key blade; all he knew was that Axel's lips were really soft.

He came crashing back to reality when Axel's lips left his and he felt something tear away from him. It was a sort of light that he'd never felt before, and it fled as soon as Axel broke contact. Axel buried his head in Roxas' chest.

"Don't leave," He choked, "I know you're going to leave. I can feel it. Please, please don't!"

They slid to the floor, and Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel.

"I'm sorry, Axel."

* * *

><p>Axel didn't seem to remember anything from the night before. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe that would make it hurt less when he left.<p>

Probably not.

* * *

><p>"So your mind's made up?"<p>

Every instinct he had clawed at his feel, told him to turn around and face Axel.

"Why did the key blade choose me?" Roxas said immediately, "I have to know."

"You can't turn on the Organization, they'll destroy you!"

"No one would miss me."

Roxas continued walking, barely hearing the first word of what was said to his back, the rest not even a whisper.

"Tha-"

* * *

><p>"I love you, too."<p>

* * *

><p>Cue the awesome battle sequence and subsequent capture of Roxas by Riku. I hope you enjoyed.<p> 


End file.
